


Dungeoneering

by ranoutofrun



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Avengers Vol. 3 (1998), Humor, M/M, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-26 03:36:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13227288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranoutofrun/pseuds/ranoutofrun
Summary: Whoever said Clint and D&D sessions don't mix?





	Dungeoneering

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Tony tries to play the villain again, except this time Steve doesn’t let him.
> 
> I have a feeling this prompt was supposed to be a serious one, but then this stupid thing popped in my head and I couldn't help it.
> 
> This is based somewhere in Avengers vol.3, but before Avengers Disassembled, obviously.
> 
> Also thanks to dawittiest for betaing this.

“No,” Steve says bluntly.

Tony looks in defiance, stubborn in face of Steve’s refusal.

“You are not playing villain again,” Steve reiterates.

“I’m the Dungeon Master, that’s what I do,” Tony says, exasperated now.

“The last time you played Dungeon Master, nobody won because you took your villain persona _too_ seriously and rigged the whole thing, so _you_ could win.” Steve pokes at the table before palming his forehead. “You’re not supposed to be counting cards, Tony, you’re supposed to be telling a _story_.”

“I _did_.” Tony responds indignantly.

“Yeah, _your_ story. You’re there to roll the dice, not let the dice roll for you.” Clint feels the need to burst in, supporting Steve’s grievances wholeheartedly.

Steve nods with a raised eyebrow, half his face obscured with a dozen character sheets in his hand.

“You do tend to be competitive,” Reed, their fourth team member, interjects neutrally from the sidelines, checking a dossier.

“So, what you are saying…” Tony turns to face Steve, “is that I am _too_ villainous?” Tony asks, looking something between peeved and stubborn.

Steve sighs as he puts down the sheets, looking to be dreading his next words, “What I am saying,” he pauses with flinch, “is that your games aren’t enjoyable.”

Tony’s eyes widen, and he looks stunned. Clint could almost see the BSoD in Tony’s mind. Tony blinks a couple times and shakes it off, there is a moment of dejection before his expression cools to snubbed.

“At least I _can_ do the dungeon mastering. What, are you asking _Clint_ to take over?”

“I say Reed does it,” Clint suggests, all too happy to get out of the way of their childish spat.

“I can do it,” Reed agrees, sticking his hand up far higher than any normal person should. He doesn’t glance up for the report he’s immersed in.

“This isn’t real life. I can play a villain if I want,” Tony says, coming back to their original point.

“But you never do unless you control everything,” Clint rebuffs, balancing a pen.

“I can play a villainous hero outside of being Dungeon Master.” Tony rebuffs, “I can _prove_ it to you,” pointing a finger right at him.

“I just can’t see it happening. You have a type,” Reed pipes in. Tony scrunches his face into a halfhearted sneer Reed’s way.

They all have a type in a way, Clint realizes. Even though they’ve been dabbling in D&D for months now, it never felt like they had bypassed their waking lives. “He’s right.” Clint chuckles. Tony frowns. “Urgh, do I have to spell it out? Okay then. Despite you always professing how much you _hate_ magic, you always play a wizard!”

“It’s a _Technomancer_.”

“Same thing.”

“No it’s not-“ Tony protests. Clint flips him off.

“And _you_ ,” Clint says, pointing at Steve, “always play a Paladin!”

“I like paladins.”

“You may as well be playing yourself!”

“Says Clint, the archer that plays a D&D archer,” Tony grumbles.

“It’s a _Ranger_ ,” Clint corrects, just as persnickety as Tony was with him.

“ _Same. Thing_.”

“You guys never really let me _be_ an archer in game anyway. Most of the time you’ve already destroyed the monsters with your bullshit stats and spells before I even get a measly shot in.” _Like you always do when Avenging._ Clint knows it's not _really_ true, but he tends to feel that way when he is slightly annoyed, “That’s why I’m like 5 levels under yours.” It’s a sore subject to Clint.

“I’m not getting into this,” Reed says, flipping up his hand to dismiss the argument away.

“Smart,” Tony approves.

Amazingly, it clears the air, and everyone calms down with renewed focus now that they’ve relieved themselves of some of their frustrations.

“Ok, so maybe our little group is a little stuck in a rut. We should change it up, use other classes we don’t normally go for,” Tony suggests.

“Agreed.” Steve nods to their small D&D group.

Tony tips his head in affirmation.

Clint looks at Steve with a calculating smile.

“I nominate Steve, the Amazon.”

“Yes,” Tony says firmly with a smile on his face and a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Hey.” Steve glares at Tony, looking betrayed, and gives Clint a hard look.

 _Worth it_. Though it doesn’t last long as Steve speaks up in return.

“Clint, the Dancer.” Steve gives him an amused sly look saying that he had that coming. He sure did.

“ _No!_ ” he cries out desperately.

“Yes,” Steve says, smiling wide as he’s countered Clint’s fun.

Tony snickers at Clint’s misfortune.

“Well then, Tony, the Bard.” Clint turns his attention on Tony.

“Bard?” Tony gives Clint a confused look, like can’t quite process what do with this.

“That team comp has many holes in it. Also, you double dipped on allocating roles, Clint.” Reed once again breaks up their banter.

“Unless _you_ want a new an improved role, best leave the Avengers’ side alone,” Steve says to Reed, “we make or break our own team.” Reed doesn’t reply, shaking of his head a little.

“Well ok. Bard it is.” Tony says, not at all enthused for the role.

Steve turns back to Tony, “Don’t worry, Tony, it’ll be an amazing experience. You can serenade us with your ballads of victory while we beat back the tides of our enemies.”

“Even if I were to fall to villainy? Play it neutral evil?” Tony asks, now with a devious glint in his eyes.

“Who said I’d let you?”

“Are we creating character backstories? The only way that would happen is if we had – _ history _ –” Tony smirks. “Obviously, they met when Tony the Bard was lost in a forest while he was tripped out from  accidentally inhaling some Hallucinogenic spores . He then proceeded to sing of Steve, the Amazon’s innate beauty  their entire journey out of the forest. ”

“But Steve the Amazon turns out to be the Amazon’s queen. Enamored with Tony the Bard’s ability to keep up a continuous song for two days straight, and maybe slightly concerned about those spores, Steve the Amazon decides to take Tony the Bard back to their home to have… tea.” Steve ends  on the sly .

“Yes, and Tony the Bard could fall hard and fast for the queen of the Amazons, after a very long period of shared tea time. We should get married, in the game, of course.” Tony waggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly. They each smirk at the other  at their newfound joke history . It’s almost funny, if Clint hadn’t been aware t here is a ream of truth to their superficial flirting .

“Get a room,” Clint mutters under his breath, quiet enough not be heard.

“Aww, you feeling left out?” Not quiet enough then. “Clint the Dancer can attend our wedding. We’ll pay well.” Tony mocks in jest, with Clint knowing exactly what he’d be paid for.

“Guys, seriously?” Clint rolls his eyes,  observing the way they keep going about embarrassing themselves. He really wants a stopper on it in case they do figure it out at some point.

“What’s wrong with our new plot?” Tony says ‘innocently’. 

“Urgh, why do I bother with these nights…?” Clint mutters to himself. He wouldn’t have much of a problem with how Tony and Steve are acting, if they haven’t been ogling each other for a good part of a decade. Reed’s oblivious, but he isn’t.  As he has since found out from these close-knit D&D sessions, their blatant attraction is bordering on stupid in his eyes since neither of them are aware of the others interest. 

Clint has to cringe inwardly; but he must admit though that  some small part is a tightly guarded  envy at how close and in-tune they are with the other. Because in the end Steve Rogers, no matter  _ what class _ he is, will always care enough to try to ward off the darkness, regardless of Tony’s half-baked attempts at Dungeon Mastering, or even Avenging.

And  _ he’s _ just tagging along for the ride;  _ Clint _ , the  _ Dancer _ . That’s just how  the Avengers  for the most part, work together, and when they don’t… well, it sucks. Particularly for him.

Clint could practically play this whole scenario out as Dungeon Master, he wouldn’t even need to make up an elaborate plot.

Damn. The story does always ends up about Tony.

Luckily, Clint’s only got eight more of these sessions to go through before his bet is up. Carol can go manicure a monkey before he ever agrees to an ‘easy’ bet with her again.

The rest of his group start setting up their character sheets and Reed  _ finally  _ puts down his work to lay out the next game. Clint does the same. He’s relieved to be past the argument and back to rolling his D20’s he’s become more attached to than he likes. If anything comes from today's D&D night however, it’s a valuable concept he’ll remember. Lesson learned, just agree with Tony Stark.


End file.
